Fish Food

It would appear as if I converted my Y2K bunker to a bird flu bunker simply by changing the title on the cabinet door except that my dozen cans of sardines have no dust on them. That's more than can be said for most of the rest of my apartment. It's because I just restocked what for me is often a dietary staple.

Except for the fact that anyone living or working in an establishment that isn't expected to be firebombed at any moment, won't allow you to open a can of sardines within a 50 foot radius, they're a darn convenient protein source. I love them, but even I open the pull-tab on the can as if I'm defusing a bomb for fear I'll be funked by fish juices for the rest of the day.

Compromise is often made for the sake of convenience but in the case of sardines, you get quality protein, omega-3, calcium and a fraction of the mercury in tuna fish. At my body weight, sardines contain 10% of my weekly allowable dose of mercury while a standard can of tuna has 140%! It's good that tuna is that toxic, though. It's the hope of expiring from the toxicity before I have to try and gag down that last dry, metalic bite that keeps me going. Maybe sharp lids offer the same promise - like wearing cyonide capsules in case of capture.

It's the fact that I can get better quality in a nearly indestructable form that thrills me. Most things in the front of my pack double as some sort of battering ram or medieval shield defending me against broadsword attacks. You'd think so when you see the unrecognizeable and clearly pulverized items that come out of there. It's nice to know that my protein source won't get mauled before I liberate it. We could all use those kinds of features in our food sometimes. (by the way, the can doubles as a weapon if you can peg an attacker in the forehead and then spray said villian with fish juice for easy identification in a line-up. It's like a super hero only weird).

As long as I keep a stock of sardines and some dried fruit handy, I never have to worry about getting an emergency meal that's reasonably nutritous. In that way, I can avoid a lot of preservatives and nitrates found in deli meat, prepackaged hardboiled eggs or any number of other convenience foods that can conveniently undermine your health.