Sunday, March 11, 2007

Thin Mint Meltdown

Whenever I get up on my high horse, there seems to be a cell phone strapped to the saddle. Luckily for the unfortunate souls on speed dial, my cell phone generally drops my call in mid sentence which causes the necessary break for introspection. I like to think my cell phone comes with an added feature I call 'rant guard'. My Blog has no such feature and I can occasionally rant without interruption which makes this the perfect occasion to bring up Girl Scout Cookies.

First; Blasphemy. Thin mints aren't that good and neither are tag-a-longs. They're one shoddy glaze or waxy peanut butter filling away from Danish Butter Cookies, Walker's Shortbread, Lorna Doone's or a random single-serving "gourmet" box lunch cookie pack. None of those are ever truly savored, except the Lorna Doone's by my mother who also enjoys stale Easter Peeps and 'Circus Peanuts'. We'd brush them aside like a garnish if we weren't deprived of them 11 months out of the year.

Girl Scout cookies really are just a guiltless excuse to eat empty calories for a cause. The option exists to write the check with no exchange of cookies for cash. Just write the check. Then there's no chance you'll walk in the door from the office, drop your armload of stuff, slip off your shoes and demolish an entire box of Somoa's over the sink.

Girl Scout Cookies are designed to be one of those mindless eating moments. You can identify it by the fact that you often can't swallow fast enough before the next cookie disappears behind your teeth. I've seen it, I've heard about it, and I've done it. I got over it because I couldn't afford to toss my nutrition under the bus and because I remind myself that it's meant to be a fundraiser not just a cookie sale. Even if you only eat one or two a day, there are 3,500 calories in a pound whether you ate them over the sink or sneaked them here and there after dinner. And good Samaritan calories count.

There are better cookies to be had out there. Don't trick yourself into thinking that Girl Scout Cookies are all that and a glass of milk. Write the check if you have to but turn your back on the boxes.